How Time Goes By...

I have become horrid with keeping this thing updated. Life has been a whirlwind crazy-fest. Since my last post I have had three different jobs. Soon after the last post I landed a job at a local thrift store. It was a good job but I was sorting through incoming donations that oftentimes involved mold and mildew. I stayed sick the entire duration of working there and eventually quit. After taking some time off to recover, I went to work at my 3rd Sears location. On Christmas Eve of 2015, my wistful dream had come true. I began a relationship with my neighbor, who I'd been lusting over for the better part of the previous 5 years (minus the time I was in a relationship! Although honestly I went chasing after that particular relationship to try to get my mind off of my neighbor because it seemed like a relationship with him was never going to come to fruition.). Things were amazing! We were madly in love, and longing to make up for the last 5 years. He was finally on the same page with me, perhaps a little more.

I was miserable at Sears since my location had revamped my position to include the work of everyone elses' positions. Since we had been talking about marriage, my boyfriend began encouraging me to quit because he wanted to take care of me. Then by March 2016, we had gotten serious about getting engaged, had already picked out my engagement and wedding rings. He wanted us to go to NYC the next month so that he could propose. Also at the beginning of March, he became serious about me quitting...basically he wanted me to quit to prove that I loved him enough to rely on him. I was happy to quit, especially since it addition to how crummy the job became, it was a long commute for not that great of pay. ...but the pressure from him to do it was bothersome but I decided to ignore it. There had been some dumb arguments and temper tantrums he'd stir up prior to then, but I dismissed it as a part of a "condition" his mother always used as an excuse for his behavior over the years (oftentimes I figured she was exaggerating since she had a tendency to do that). By late April, we made our way to NYC and eventually got engaged while there (his temper tantrums and rages continued on the trip). At this point he had also moved in with my dad and I because his mom kicked him out. Why? Because he was spending a lot of time with me and often over at my house.

Things were getting worse, yet I was trying so hard to ignore the negativity because I was loved him and that's what you're supposed to do when you're in love. I was always questioned for the dumbest things because apparently it meant that he was more in love with me than I was with him. If I didn't exactly say and do the things he expected me to at the moment or exactly how he expected them, then he obviously loved me more than I loved him. Apparently I wasn't pulling me weight in love in the relationship. Things still progressively got worse. Despite living with my dad, the Fiance would become furious if I had any interaction with my dad, especially if Fiance wasn't right there. He was trying to seclude me from everyone but himself and his mother. Then he started the most idiotic, paranoid accusations that still make me sick to think about.

It's hard to go into details about it all but basically, the toxic relationship came to an end. Thankfully. I ended up learning a lot about narcissistic personality disorder and the world of emotional abuse...

But during the engagement, I had begun knitting what would be my wedding shawl. I stopped working on it for a long period of time because habits had changed (I hardly did anything that I used to during this period of time). I intend to do my next post about this project but I'm happy to report that I now have another job and begun knitting again.

I started working on the Firmaments Lace Shawl right after my mom died in March 2012. It was intended to be my "coping" project. I was doing good up until I got to the Elongated Fountain Lace a.k.a. Chart C. It's not hard but just...tedious! But right after my mom died, that's when the first store I was working at closed. I assumed I was going to have that summer off and la de da. But the Monday after my last day at the first store, I was called to come take on a position at the second store. Then of course things became hectic. Blah blah blah. Then 2 years later, my second store closed...and I hadn't made much progress on Chart C either. I'd pick it up every once in a while but it was just TORTURE! I never wanted to give up or frog it, I just didn't feel like working on it. Then fast forward to just recently. I guess after having my heart destroyed, I needed to push myself through the "torture" to kind of help heal.

Anywho... Chart C is supposed to be repeated 9 times but...that ain't happening! I just want to get this thing finished, even if it's going to be smaller than I'd like. Hey, now I may end up with a fancy table cloth that may fit one of the many tables I've inherited over the years! But back to what I've done, I only managed to make it to 5 repeats. I originally settled on 4, but once I finished the 4th...I talked myself into 5. I would've done 6, but I started to feel superstitious to a small extent...and would want to end with 7 instead. But enough is enough! 5 is the end result. Two days ago I started on the BO edging.

The Diamond BO edging was confusing as heck when I read the instructions before starting on it. But then I read some project notes on Ravelry...which made me realize I had no idea what I was even comprehending when I originally read the instructions. Anyway, once I started doing the actual knitting, it started to make a lot more sense. It usually does. If something seems confusing when reading ahead, it always makes sense when you actually do the work! This edging it going to be another slow process for me since it's done in many short rows and not super repetitive (sometimes it's easier to memorize a fragment of stitch instructions and just repeat those many times until the row of a gazillion stitches is complete). But I am sooooooo happy that I am finally coming towards the end of this project!

Some updates:

- My boyfriend broke up with me in early November. Basically he says he's been going through difficult times... and didn't want a relationship anymore, I got the boot, shut out of his life. I worried myself sick (literally, I wound up with shingles...my body's tolerance of stress keeps decreasing) over his well being. It still kills my soul.

- Car problems...I won't even go into the details but I was hoping to get this straightened out before getting a job. I desperately need a job but don't want to risk the consequences my car problems could result while commuting.

- I participated in a mini-craft fair (or what they called a "pop-up market") recently. I got to use my tent for the first time and had some wonderful people help and teach me how to set the thing up. There wasn't a lot of traffic in the area, thus no customers. But it gave me the chance to get a feel of what it'd be like participating in something bigger.

-Which all of this has resulted in me getting more serious about Sparkle Elegante!

http://www.facebook.com/SparkleElegante

I'm also currently working on some fingerless gloves using the Red Heart Super Saver in Day Glow. I made a shawl/scarf thing out of a skein of Day Glow and it turned out really neat looking...kinda like tie-dye. However, everything else I've tried with the second skein doesn't look as cool. So I finally settled on making fingerless gloves...maybe someone will enjoy them?

Fancy Design In Knitting

This is the Fancy Design In Knitting from the FitterKnitter.com website. I did two repeats and went ahead and included rows 1 & 2 on the second repeat. It was another easy stitch to knit up.

Twisted Vine Eyelet

This block comes from a stitch pattern I found on the Vogue Knitting website. This one is called Twisted Vine Eyelet. I like it...and yet it doesn't excite me that much as the sample on the Vogue site. Then again, Vogue...everything's probably going to look so much better on that site just because, haha :D

Snowdrop Stitch

Today's knitted sampler block is of the Snowdrop stitch which I found here: http://newstitchaday.com/knit-snowdrop-lace-stitch/

It was incredibly simple to knit. I was kind of bored with the look at first (honestly I love the look of more intricate knitting and prefer to do that over something more "simple") but it's grown on me.

Normandy Lace Edging

I have this crazy idea again to start working on various blocks of knitting patterns. First up is the Normandy Lace. I don't remember where exactly I came across this (I'm certain I found the source through Ravelry). But here's 3 repeats of it worked up in some vibrant blue Red Heart Super Saver yarn!